GOOD THINGS

1. Flying and Stabbing. As we all know, any good ninj’ing requires both a flying and stabbing component. These are crucial; the actions of hurtling through the air with reckless abandon as well as the piercing of infidels/underlings/henchpersons with a wide variety of skewering implements form the cornerstone of any stealth action game. Assassin’s Creed actually combines the two, giving the player the option of executing a flying stab; two great tastes that taste great together.

2. I Can See My Victim From Here. Impressive, vertigo-iducing views are nothing new in videogames but I think AC takes the crown for sheer grandiosity. There have been other titles where the area was bigger (not many), but none that offer more detail or atmosphere. It’s quite incredible actually. Approaching Damascus and seeing the whole city laid out in the valley below is a brilliant moment. The next time you become weary of dulling your blade on the unwashed masses, take a moment to climb your favourite guard tower-with-improbably-positioned-beam-outcropping, and perch yourself in an excruciating, percarious crouch high above the crowd. So relaxing!

3. The Bizarro Control Scheme Works. Actually, I don’t think it’s bizarro at all. I’ve often bemoaned the fact that certain games require a hell of a lot from the player in order to look like an ‘expert’. That’s silly. The guy on the screen, the one with the missing finger so that his wrist-blade can function properly? He’s the expert. I’m the ridiculous voice in his head giving stern suggestions. AC plays to this, as not only is the premise* supportive of the concept but it makes sense given the context of the game. The reason you don’t have to manually jump is because the game is not to simply jump but to navigate, and that’s a full-time game by itself when you are being chased. Swordplay took a little acclimatizing as well, but no complaints here.

4. Story Doesn’t Suck Huge Donkey Balls, and in Fact is Quite Engrossing. Despite the Vanilla Sky/Matrix setup, the writing is pleasantly complicated and M-rated. At one point your (captured, “real-life”) character recaps what has happened to him and simply remarks, “that is fucked up.” I can’t tell you how nice it is to hear some realistic dialogue in a game. Also, you can tell that Ubi spent some money on the voice work.

5. PS3 and Xbox 360 versions are nigh-identical. Sorry fanboys, basically nothing to see here, move along. (Maybe not – see EDIT below)

BAD THINGS

1. Go Out At Night, Dude. Seriously. I haven’t played through the whole game yet but so far, your assassin seems to keep banker’s hours and insists on doing all of his nefarious deeds in full view of the burning daystar, between 10am and 3pm. He should try evening shifts; the air is cooler and the city not quite as densely populated with aggravating crazy beggars and lunatics who will fuck up your shit just as you go to bury a dagger in some guy’s ear.

2. Altaïr Could Try Out For Cirque du Soleil But He Can’t Tie His Fucking Shoes. It’s great that he’s so acrobatic, it really is. The climbing looks amazing. The free-running, equally amazing. But if I’m up on a roof, say, and some archer sees me, I’d like to do something simple. I’d like to duck. Or crouch. But no, there is no ducking or crouching for this guy. He’s noble. He stands tall, defiantly proud!… from the shadows.

3. He Doesn’t Do “Inside”. Common thing with big sandboxy games like this one, but after awhile it becomes very apparent that you have not set foot indoors in days, possibly weeks. The little fixed-angle tiny room adjoined to the Assassin’s Bureau hardly counts. (What is this, Resident Evil 2?) I don’t expect to see every stupid little ramshackle building rendered inside and out, but at this point I’m starting to think that Altaïr is severely agoraphobic.

4. I Have No Idea When or If I’ve Saved the Game. New-gen autosave systems are cool. I like not having to mess around with blocks and shit like that. But when AC saves, it shows a little icon that looks like a SIM card (?) lower-screen for approximately one second. With all the other ‘animus’ technical flotsam jamming your view, it’s easy to miss. At some point, you go to quit the game and get several dire warnings about progress being lost since the last savepoint. When did it save? Was it awhile ago? No idea.

5. I’ve Played Spider-Man Before. A bit harsh, but it’s true. Counter-attacks? Optional side-quests to rescue civilians and punish random thugs? Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah, in that superhero game, which frankly wasn’t as good. If the nature of the optional missions, the repition, is something that really bothered you in other games than I could see it bothering you here. As for myself, I’m all about the flying and stabbing. That just never gets old.

EDIT – one more Bad Thing: some are reporting freezing issues on load screens with the PS3 version. Ubi says they are looking into it, so perhaps a patch is in the works. I’ve noticed this once myself, I thought it was a fluke.

* and yes, the fact that the assassin is controlled by a modern character in the game is the premise, not a spoiler. It can’t be a spoiler if it’s mentioned in the fucking manual on page 2!