No More Heroes: Balancing Giddy Raves With My Revulsion

I’ve previously mentioned No More Heroes on this blog, a quirky Wii game now released in Japan. The title had my attention for two reasons:

  1. It is designed by Suda 41, bizarro game designer extraodinaire, who was responsible for the visually interesting yet ultimately disappointing Killer 7
  2. It has lightsabers

The publisher has been extremely stingy in releasing media for this game, tempting us with the occasional screenshot and not much else. Now that the game is out we can see some advance video from the Japanese version. Take a look. I’ll wait.

To say that I found this disappointing is a massive understatement. This game looks terrible. Really, truly awful. The unique visual style we’ve seen in those scant few screenshots is apparently only on display in the protagonist and the 10 enemy assassins he wants to kill. (Which is the entirety of the plot, by the way. He “wants to be #1″. That’s it.) But that’s the least of my issues with this: there’s brutal jump cuts everywhere; the exposition in the intro is porn-movie bad; camera issues abound; massive framerate inconsistency; combat looks breathtakingly awkward and clumsy, with fallen enemies exploding in cheezy clouds of black pixels; loading times are frequent and use that damnable “slow-closing door” covering method we love so much from Metroid Prime 3; the environments are bland and uninspired. And yes, you still have to furiously masturbate your Wii Remote to charge up the lightsaber. It’s a car crash in slow motion. Cowboy Bebop on the worst kind of mushrooms.

I realize this game is supposed to be outlandish and idiosyncratic. I get that. Hell, I embrace that. But this just looks really, truly… stupid. Going to a toilet and taking a dump saves your game? Really?

So why are there posts literally gushing about it on the forums? I don’t know what to make of it.

These are people who have played the game – many of the folks in that NeoGAF thread own copies. And they’re not just happy, they’re ecstatic. Some of them are calling it action game of the year.

I of course do not have the game, and so I really ought to shut my fucking mouth, right? I know not whereof I speak.

But… I just can’t get my head around how there can be a good game in what I saw in that video clip. I literally cannot fathom it. There are no official reviews up yet, so I can’t find any further opinion on the matter.

Is this just another critic-proof Wii title?


2 responses to “No More Heroes: Balancing Giddy Raves With My Revulsion”

  1. Even forgetting the graphics, the game just looks annoying to *play*. Everything about it just looks horrible.

  2. The gameplay of Ghosts & Goblins was both better looking and less annoying than this.

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