Twitching and Snarling

Mao Plays B3yond(I’m going to be trying these big compilation posts for awhile, see if it works better. If you’d rather I did the old format, by all means, hurl fruit in the comments section, kthx.)

Ah, but these minor delays do tend to pile up, don’t they. I looked upon that little calendar on the right side this morning, which I have taken to calling the “guilt calendar”, and remembered why I call it that. 5 days! Oy vey!

Good thing you don’t pay for this service, unlike something else I could name, that rhymes with DIVE. That’s right I said it. LIVE is still acting flaky. It keeps kicking me off. I don’t know what fucking mutant virus or bug or malfunction they have running around over there at Microsoft but seriously, this is starting to look bad. According to the forum dwellers, they seem to have solved most of the problems, but we’re definitely not out of the woods yet.

Speaking of Xbox problems – a blog entry surfaced this week claiming to detail the ’systemic’ problems of the 360’s design. You can read for yourself. It rings true to me, although it doesn’t make me feel any better. Short version: Microsoft rushed the thing to beat the PS3 by a year, and now it can break any one of a dozen ways. More contentious still is the claim that even the newer models are sporting an estimated 10% failure rate. Better than 30%, but that is the faintest of praise.

Grand Theft Auto 4 just got a release date: April 29, 2008. I have nothing to add here.

From Famitsu by way of 1up, we have a bunch of new info about Final Fantasy XIII – both the main version staring a girl, and the ‘versus’ version staring a boy who looks like a girl. There’s some stuff about the setting in there, summoned monsters that transform into motorcycles, a dog with a gigantic ruby in it’s forehead, and some more character intros. I predict that their new female cast member Nomchan will be as popular with the otaku as Aeris was, and we know how much gnashing and wailing we all had to endure when she got killed. I think some nerds cried. God that was awesome. I hope they do it again.

I’ve been watching with bored bemusement this week as this rightwing fuckhead from decided to try and troll for hits. Kevin McCullough is a sad little man. Whilst browsing the intarwebs for his latest outrage, he hit upon a YouTube clip of the “sex scene” from Mass Effect and decided to just run right into the endzone and out into the parking lot with that before he even knew what he was holding. Read the article if you like; it is of the lowest quality, this species of exaggeration. Of course, this brought out the long knives at Penny Arcade. They made Kevin famous, but not in the way he likely wanted.

Furthermore, Fox news decided to get in on the act and did what they predictably do, which is to fuck up the situation much like their compatriot Kevin. Headline: SE”XBOX”: NEW VIDEO GAME SHOWS FULL DIGITAL NUDITY AND SEX. Which of course, it doesn’t. It’s a huge lie. This is what Fox does. I feel bad for Geoff Keighley in that clip – he wins the debate with one hand tied, and yet he still can’t make a dent.

At least EA, who have recently acquired BioWare, have decided to punch back a little bit. Yet another sterling example of the double-standard that videogames have to endure relative to television and movies. Why do these puritanical assholes always miss the ‘Rated M’ on the box? Is it because they are puritanical assholes?

UbiSoft has released a few tidbits of info during their financial conference call yesterday. Prince of Persia 3 is coming – a little surprising as many thought the hand-off to Assassin’s Creed was complete. Guess not. Also, more troubling, is the news that Haze has been delayed again. This would be delay number three. That’s… alarming. No new date given, just “sometime this year”. Wonder if this affects the timed PS3 exclusivity at all.

Some blog which I will not link to has stirred up a ridiculous amount of fervor of the idea of a $299 white PS3 being released on Monday. No sir, I don’t buy it. It’s too soon after xmas for a price drop, and too soon after the other two price drops that happened late last year. A white PS3, sure. It’ll be $399 like the others.

The news that Patapon will only be $20 is extremely welcome. I’m really looking forward to this one. There’s an exhaustive preview of the title up at the PlayStation.Blog. The fact that they are pricing it this way means they know it probably won’t find a big audience but will find critical acclaim, just like LocoRoco.

Finally, the Devil May Cry 4 demo drops today on Live and PSN. Live should be up already, PSN I would expect around 5-7PM EST. Now you have your evening plans.


One response to “Twitching and Snarling”

  1. I kinda prefer the short hits, but maybe it’s because television has ruined my att..

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