This is Vegas Gameplay Trailer

Someone needs to keep Midway’s people away from the peyote. One of their teams is releasing a new game called This Is Vegas, the purpose of which is to fulfill the fourfold promise of desert debauchery. According to Surreal Software – who’s name will become more appropriate as we go into this – This Is Vegas consists of: Gambling, Racing, Partying (yes) and… Fighting.

I’m going to save the roundabout criticism this time and just say that this is stupid. It’s simply a bad idea – not an middling, debatable thing, but rather an obviously bad idea for a videogame.

Check out the gameplay video above and tell me if you don’t agree. It’s like your worst focus-grouped design nightmares come to life. Here’s how I can picture the meeting of marketers who shat out this concept:

• we need something M-rated, those games sell better, something risque but not Manhunt or Hentai territory: ah, let’s go to Vegas, everyone loves Vegas right?
• ok we need to rip off some popular mechanics from other good videogames, so let’s see: rhythm game for dancing
• some Sims-style crowd management
• some hand-to-hand fighting like GTA
• add tits and vomit.

… perfect. It’s the perfect concept! Except for, of course, the fact that you can’t win any actual money, or get actually drunk or high, or win any actual fights, or actually get laid. In other words you get to watch another guy having the time of his life in Vegas while you sit and make suggestions, stone sober, through a television. Woo.

The thing that pisses me off is, in a slightly different direction, a game like this could actually be a hilarious social commentary (like, oh, say GTA). But no, they need to go and take the obvious route, and try to make Swingers – The Game. Seriously, what fun is it when your character is drunk? Ok, the screen is blurry. Ok, you drink too much and he barfs and people run away screaming. So? Is that worth more than 0.2 seconds of laughter? Your bartending options consist of Serve Beer, Serve Cocktail, Light Cigarette and Fight. This is not a deep game, this is a bare framework of minigames grafted onto a 3D engine. It’s Mario Party with cocaine.

I mean, I’m as big a geek as they come, and even I find something quite sad and pathetic about playing a videogame about judging a fake wet t-shirt contest made of fake 3D women on my TV at home. (Again, while sober.) That’s just a gigantic Rorschach of inadequacy. Las Vegas is a playground, with abundant intoxicants, lots of gambling money and legalized whores. There’s just no point in creating a make-believe version, it was never a real place to begin with.

(Link > FileFront)