Saw this Tekken 6 image on the Stiq of Joy and I thought: this raises questions. Hard questions.

Caption this, please.

“PETA’s robot deathbear was no match for the praetorian Shirtless Republican Guard”
“The element of surprise was in Pan-dor’s favour as he performed the rare Leg Breaking Throat Drop Technique”
“Horribly Bump-mapped War Vet Battles Phantom Commie Bear During Particularly Intense Peyote Trip”
“It Was A Typical Tuesday Night At The Niagara Falls Casino”