Context, such as it is.

PerpetualGeekMachine.net

…and auctioned for 1.1 million dollars.

But, I take solace in the fact that it will eventually break down, and when the proud owner sends it for repair, it will be scrubbed. No matter what.

I want a North American version of this, with a geek in a game store, and a magazine rack peripheral.

[Link > NeoGAF]

Or maybe all of Australia is in solidarity with these clowns.

There’s lots of running and shooting, a tea-bagging joke in the first 90 seconds, strangely analog lag glitches, and a Sony Home clone called Society (but with porn). Players (humans) control “i-cons” (other humans with a rap sheet) using a totally boring no-interface setup that defies explanation. So in essence it’s The Running Man, with even less morality, a bit of avatar stuff, and the confusing fact that every citizen in the movie is totally ok with the situation.

I can’t say I wasn’t… entertained.

The end.

I just don’t know about those guys over at Nintendo anymore. I think they’re drunk on cash money. Like Activision, they seem desperate to shovel ever-increasing numbers of silly plastic peripherals at us. As if every game could be Rock Band.

It supports my theory that I’ve long held, which is that the Wii was largely an accidental success, and now they have no idea where to go next. They just know they want to wring out this “alternative controller” thing for all it’s worth.

On a financial level, you can hardly blame them. But as a player, things like the Vitality Sensor, or a football with a Wiimote crammed into it, are at the very least uninteresting, and at worst borderline insulting. I mean, take a look at that diagram above and tell me how that would work. At all.

[links > Joystiq, Engadget]

Please take a moment to savour this nauseating mashup of Disney, Sims and Ikea:

INVISIBLE STEERING WHEEL

The Natal sensor bar itself seems like a combined array of camera, microphone, and IR emitter (transceiver?). So what it does beyond a typical web camera is that it can get depth cues from where you are standing, thus enabling z-axis movement. In honesty the tech is pretty neat. It does a fairly respectable job of picking up movements, or at least it seemed to in the demo. The problem is that Microsoft didn’t show any specific game to go with it. Nor did any of the demos do anything that was particularly out of reach of, say, a PlayStation Eye- or Vision camera-based game.

And given this info:

“Prices and timing weren’t available, but it won’t be available until 2010 at the earliest and will probably cost around $200. Microsoft has already given game developers tools to start building games that uses the device.”

…I’d have to call Natal an epic failure, pretty much right out of the gate. If that date and price is even close to true.

The other thing. Milo. Molyneux’s BoyPet. This abomination.

What in the hell is Peter Molyneux thinking? He knows he has a reputation for, shall we say, enhancing the truth. Or at least waxing futuristic on shit that we can’t have for years. Like this total fabrication above, that they are pawning off as some kind of working AI tech.

There is just no way in hell that is real. This is heavily scripted, and moreover deeply misleading. Lionhead has not cloned a human mind, nor can they read subtle grimaces and calculate appropriate responses with perfect speech and animation. The impression this gives, to people who don’t know better, is one that I find shockingly misleading.

(And while we’re at it, just what does this have to do with the Natal device, anyways?)

I’ll be deliriously happy and delighted if he can prove me wrong… but man, this demo. I just can’t see how it could be legit. At all.

My first 2 minutes with this thing.

Saw this Tekken 6 image on the Stiq of Joy and I thought: this raises questions. Hard questions.

Caption this, please.

“PETA’s robot deathbear was no match for the praetorian Shirtless Republican Guard”
“The element of surprise was in Pan-dor’s favour as he performed the rare Leg Breaking Throat Drop Technique”
“Horribly Bump-mapped War Vet Battles Phantom Commie Bear During Particularly Intense Peyote Trip”
“It Was A Typical Tuesday Night At The Niagara Falls Casino”