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Lore Sjöberg on Link’s Weapons

I wish I had an impressive name like Lore Sjöberg. I’m quite certain I would have no trouble convincing the ladies that I was a moneyed investment banker from Geneva. He’s probably not really from Geneva, but that’s what I’d say. Geneva.

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Most Disturbing Box Art Ever

After completing the illustration for this Zelda-derived minor character spinoff game, the artist replaced the nylon stocking on his head and resumed stroking his limbless Bratz doll with a horsehair brush, while muttering it puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose.


Rumour: Wii Zapper Ships With… A Crossbow Game?

The rumour making the rounds right now is that the Wii Zapper peripheral, which houses the Nunchuck and Wii Remote in a semi-awkward semi-automatic gun configuration, is shipping with the decidedly un-gun-like title Link’s Crossbow Training.
Why would they ship a crossbow game with this thing? What happened to Duck Hunt? For once, I wanted a [...]

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Nintendo Snoozefest (for Wii™)

¡Jesu Christo!, what a stupendously actionless press conference.
It was equal parts 3AM infomertial, obnoxious condo lifestyle ad and motivational training seminar. Suffice it to say nothing was announced for the Wii that would alleviate its current pseudo-drought.
(My favourite moment: Nintendrone asks the crowd, after showing off the Wii Fit Balance Board™ – “Now, I know [...]

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Zelda Is Not The Greatest Fucking Game Ever, Goddammit

EDGE Magazine has kicked up a remarkable media frenzy in this Top 100 Games Evarrrrrr article they’re preparing for a special issue.
There I was, innocently surfing away, thoughtfully jawing my traditional strip of beef jerky with occasional sips of cough syrup when this ludicrous sequence of characters and numbers appears before me:
1. The Legend [...]


Random Updates

Be sure to complete all of your internet-related business before noon today. The next GTA IV trailer drops then and I’m sure the tubes will be mighty clogged with the fevered clickings of a thousand wannabe gangstas. Myself included. I won’t lie about it. Alt links: here and here. (I guess $50 mil gets you [...]

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